Saying goodbye

Warning! This is a very long, detailed post that I wrote on the plane ride home. :)

This morning we went to the notary to officially petition for the adoption and for a court date. Then we walked around by the Bolshoi theater, which was under a major renovation effort, and then ate lunch at a fast food place called Kroshka Kartoshka, where they give you a big baked potato with butter and cheese mixed in and then you choose from a wide variety of toppings to pile on top. Yum!

Our agent picked us up at 3 and took us to the orphanage. It was a beautiful day and the kids were playing outside in separate areas with their "grupas." Tristan was near the entrance. He saw me through the fence and got very excited, calling out "Mama! Mama!" I ran over to him and swept him up. He is so dear! I tried to communicate with Tristan's caregivers. There are 8 caregivers for each group. There are 4 shifts with 2 on at a time. His caregivers suggested we go for a walk, so we did. We walked around the orphanage to the opposite side where Mayana's group was playing. Meanwhile, Jeff took all the donations we had brought inside and a bit later we presented them to the medical director of the orphanage. They were sooo grateful!

When we found Maya, she didn't see us at first, but when she did she got very excited and ran over for a hug. She turned to her group and told them all "Mama!" She joined Tristan and I on our walk and then Jeff joined us as well. They were excited to see him too. Maya has always been a little nervous when Jeff comes up to her. They don't see hardly any men here at the orphanage. This time it only took her a few moments before she hugged him and decided to hold his hand while we walked.

We took them over to a back corner of the grounds where there was a little swing and a small slide. They each tried the swing, but got too scared, and the slide wasn't much better. I doubt they have ever tried either one before. So, we continued our walk and when we came across a tricycle, Tristan wanted to ride it. He could push it along with his feet, but didn't know how to pedal. So, I put his feet on the pedals and pushed him along. His feet kept slipping off, but after a while he got better at keeping them on.

Jeff and I had practiced saying Russian phrases like, "I will love you forever" and "I am your Mommy/Daddy forever" and "You are so beautiful/handsome" and "You are so smart" and "You are a good girl/boy." They loved this! Maya kept repeating "sigda" which means forever. She was so happy and excited. When I told her she was beautiful or smart or a good girl, she would repeat the adjective to herself. I realized no one has probably ever told her these things! Her little love tank has been on empty for so long, I can't wait to go to work filling it up with lots of lovin'.

After a bit Maya's group gave them a snack, so we went to Tristan's group so he could get his, but they weren't doing that. So, I dug into my bag and found some Gerber baby fruit snacks. I gave him one and all the sweeties in his group watched so carefully. I could tell they wanted some too. So I asked if I could give them all some and after a bit of questioning which I couldn't answer very well, :) they said yes. I got more out and all the little ones swarmed around me with their little mouths open, waiting their turn. I wanted to do so much more for them.

I left disposable cameras with the caregivers to take pictures of the kids for the next 6 weeks or so while we are gone, as well as note cards to write notes to the children for when they get older. I had our agency rep translate while I asked the caregivers about the children. I found out that Tristan loves to play with a little boy named Roma who was in his group with him, but unfortunately had been moved up to the next group because of age. So now he doesn't see him anymore. It reinforced to me how these kids have lost every connection they have ever made with anyone. The caregivers also said that Tristan loves to eat! :) He will eat anything and can feed himself. We watched him eat once. He had a bowl of soup and a very large spoon to eat it with. We asked about the spoon and our agent said it was because they were always in such a hurry with so many kids that they need them to eat quickly. When we watched him eat, all the other kids were already napping and he apparently wasn't eating fast enough even with the big spoon. So, one of the caregivers started feeding him. He also had a little cup of compote--which is the liquid from boiled fruit. The caregivers also said he like cars and balls and a couple of them said several times, "He is a good boy!"

When I talked to Maya's caregivers they said she likes to eat porridge--or anything with a milk base, but not soup or fish. She loves to eat sweets too. :) They said that when it is time to sleep, she will often sing to herself in bed. They said she talks a lot. Often she doesn't want to go off and play with toys, she would rather have conversations with the caregivers.

After this we took the kids inside and looked through the books I had made for them about our family and home. We also gave them each a new blanket. I gave Maya a choice between 2 blankets and donated the one she didn't choose. Our agency rep discouraged me from doing this, saying that the children here were overwhelmed by choices as they were never given any here. However, Maya had a definite opinion on the matter and seemed thrilled to choose. Then we gave them each a stuffed animal that we had implanted with a Build-A-Bear voice button. They can push the button and hear all of our voices telling them we will love them forever. They loved that too. Maya even climbed up on the couch and snuggled up with her new things.

We could also tell that everything was too much, too fast for them, and that they were pretty overwhelmed. We said goodbye to Tristan, Jeff took our things out to the car, and I went to Maya's group room with her to take a few pictures. When we entered Maya's room the other 9 children were seated in little chairs watching TV. As soon as we entered, all their little eyes were glued to us--so full of longing, it about killed me watching them. I wished we could help them all. I asked to see Maya's bed and she and the caregiver took me there. Maya started being silly and was quite proud of her little spot. She is such a sweetheart! I already miss both of them.

After dinner that night we hit Arbat street to buy souvenirs. We bought these memory boxes for Tristan and Maya and bought them a bunch of things to put inside, as well as adorable traditional Russian costumes for them.