Gotcha Day!

Whew! What a day! Vlad finally picked us up around 10:30 and off we went to the orphanage. When we got there they were just going inside for lunch, so we went up with Director Yelenora to her office—a locked room we had never seen before. We unpacked and handed over all the gifts. She thanked us and told us that she had watched us play with the children outside through her window. She said she liked us and knew we would be good, loving parents for them. Then they took us to the large room where we first met the children to wait for them to finish their meal. I laid out their new clothes and soon they brought in Tristan. I thought that they wouldn’t want to change clothes because there were so many toys around, but he was SO excited—especially about the shoes! Maya came in next and she too was VERY excited! I have never seen children so excited about new clothes. Both of them LOVED their shoes and hats!Tristan like to do this crooked mouth expression when he wants to be silly!

I had arranged with Vlad to translate while I interviewed Tristan’s caregivers, so we did this while Jeff played with the kids, and then we left. A few of the orphanage workers saw us heading out and said goodbye to the kids. I told Maya we were going to go in a car again to try to brace her for it, so then she started to cry. One of the caregivers came up and talked to her a bit and calmed her down a little.

The car ride was about an hour this time, instead of 5 minutes, so we figured she would cry the whole time, maybe even scream. She surprised us all though. After about 5 minutes of crying and whimpering she settled into the ride. Of course I did come much more prepared this time with apple slices, fruit snacks and a board book she hadn’t seen yet. I had also learned the word “pash-tea,” which means “almost.” These things made all the difference! The food was the best and when she kept saying “shoa” over and over again (this is how she says “fso,” which means “all done”), I could comfort her by telling her that we were almost there.

We were also so happy that we had introduced the strollers yesterday because when we did arrive at the hotel, we just had to pull them out and they were eager to hop in. There were a ton of people checking out and both kids started crying a bit as they were totally overwhelmed. Luckily, they had shiny green apples at the check-in desk for the guests, so we gave them each one and if we hadn’t stopped them they would have eaten the whole thing—core, seeds and all!

The elevator was clear glass, so that was pretty scary too. We got to our room, and all of a sudden it totally sunk-in that we were here and that we weren’t taking them back and that we had done it! It was SO awesome! The kids totally caught on to our happy mood when I started smiling and laughing and dancing around. :) They finally relaxed and had fun exploring the room and playing with the toys we unpacked.

By this time Jeff and I were famished, so I ran out and got some food from the closest fast food place—KFC. When I got back, Tristan took several bites of my chicken sandwich, but Maya did not want to try it. They both eventually tried, and seemed to enjoy, the seasoned potato wedge fries—the ketchup (that you had to buy separately!) was too scary though. Luckily they weren’t too hungry since they had had their main meal at Noon at the orphanage, and those apples! After we ate we debated whether to do a naptime today as it was almost 3pm—which is when they are usually getting up from their nap. We decided to go for it, so we darkened the room and did it just like we had seen at the orphanage. Unfortunately, they were NOT convinced! :) They were still not feeling comfortable enough with this new situation to relax. We lay with them and sang to them, but Maya started doing this violent whole body rocking thing that tore me apart deep inside. I can’t imagine how awful it would be growing up without ever having a caregiver hold you lovingly or make you feel special or kiss you and tell you they love you. I tried to hold her or rock her myself, but she would have none of it! It was SO frustrating! I knew what I would do with my other kids, but considering her emotional wounds and the lack of a solid attachment between us (this usually takes a year or so for a child this age), I knew I couldn’t let her rock or cry herself out. So, I called it quits! I could tell Tristan would probably sleep if she wasn’t there. I quietly got her dressed and we left to explore the hotel. She wasn’t in a stroller this time and for the most part I let her call the shots. We wandered everywhere and gradually she became more accustomed to strangers walking by us. We found the pool and a fountain and an outside patio area and finally we ended up sitting cozily in an armchair in the lobby (eating another apple!).

We went upstairs to wake up the boys at 5pm. Jeff had to go to the business center for a bit, so I decided to try the bath thing. I filled up the tub and dumped in the bath toys we had bought. Maya wasn’t too sure and Tristan started whimpering. I convinced Maya it would be fun, so she got in, sat down, started playing and promptly peed in the tub! So, we had a quick change of plans and I emptied the tub and got the swimsuits out. They were much more excited about their new swimsuits and the floaties I put on their arms. As soon as we were ready, Jeff got back and we all headed down for their first swimming experience ever! Needless to say, they were both very scared about it all. Maya has figured out she can tell me she needs to pee to get out of any situation, because for some reason I am always happy to oblige. :) We sat with them by the edge of the pool and kicked our legs. Eventually they were comfortable with this, unless the water splashed on their faces. They had fun throwing in the small flotation ring I had brought too. By the end Jeff got Tristan to come in with him, but Maya would have none of it. She loved sitting there on the side though and didn’t want to leave.

After the swim we did do the bath again. This time Jeff got in with them and I scrubbed them down. They didn’t like it when we had to rinse the shampoo out of their hair, but other than that, they did great. By this time they were pretty hungry and we fed them jam sandwiches (we couldn’t find any peanut butter at the store!), bananas and Tristan tried a few bites of the pizza we offered them. Maya is much more resistant to trying new foods. We played some more and gave them a drinkable yogurt right before bed at 10pm. The yogurt before bed is something they do at the orphanage and the late bedtime was strategic. :)

This afternoon when we were playing with toys Maya had hit Tristan and so she had learned about what it was like to have to stand in the corner. She does NOT like it and so it has become our best bargaining tool. Tonight at bedtime, Jeff had to go fax some papers at the business center and so I just laid down between them and caressed their faces while I sang to them. When Maya would NOT settle down, all it took was the word “corner” and she relaxed and went to sleep. It was so sweet! Maya was hugging my right arm and Tristan had his hand wrapped in my hair. Not very easy to extract myself though!

Jeff and I were exhausted so we went right to bed. Half an hour later, Maya was out of bed, at my side. I reached out and pulled her into bed with us. For the next 20 minutes she tossed and turned and rolled all over us. I’m not sure she was even awake! Finally Jeff carefully carried her back to bed and she didn’t make a peep the rest of the night.